It's good to be back for another week. Showing up for work once every seven days is a pretty good deal, but not as good as being a Congressman... they only show up once every seven years.

Speaking of Congress, during Thursday's voting for the new House Majority Leader, a second vote had to be taken when it was discovered there were more ballots cast than Republican members. That was because the lobbyists naturally thought they could vote too.

But they did choose a new House Majority Leader, his name is John Boehner from Ohio. He may be casting himself as the opposite of Tom DeLay, but he uses the same three bottles of hairspray every day. Boehner says his first job will be to clean up some of the lobbying scandals. So he's going to replace illegal cash donations with debit card payments.

U.N. Ambassador John Bolton opened his first meeting as head of the Security Council at 10 a.m. sharp Thursday -- but found that no other diplomats showed up. Bolton was a bit flustered, but he was fine after he threw insults and staplers at each of the empty chairs.

Groundhog Punxsutawny Phil saw his shadow Thursday morning... that means six more weeks of outbursts at the Saddam Hussein trial.

Britain's Prince Harry will go to Iraq next year as a troop commander and could see action along the hazardous border with Iran. But it won't be so dangerous for him over there if he wears that Nazi uniform.

I see they threw some people out of the State of the Union address for wearing t-shirts. My favorite one was the one that said: "My President invaded Iraq, and all I got is this lousy T-Shirt."

Meanwhile, President Bush used his State of the Union address to urge Americans to reject isolationism... which makes a lot of sense since we'll all soon be working for the Chinese.

Earlier this week, Senator Ted Kennedy's drive to filibuster the Alito confirmation vote failed Monday. Geez, when will the Democrats learn not to let Ted Kennedy drive?

James Frey's literary agent has dropped the author after it was revealed that he fabricated parts of his memoir "A Million Little Pieces." Agents hate it when their clients are better liars than they are.

Did you see that Aymin al Zawahiri mocked President Bush for not being able to find him in Pakistan? Actually, President Bush can't even find Pakistan.

So the experts believe the ratings for this year's Winter Olympics will be weak. That's because if people want to see a bunch of doped-up amateurs competing, they can just watch "American Idol."

Have a nice week everybody. I need to get back up to heaven before Dean Martin beer goggles Wendy Wasserstein.